Empty nest syndrome - not what you expect

As always, the wonderful people I work with have inspired my thinking. This time it's about empty nest syndrome.

We have all heard about it and jest but it actually doesn't feel the way we expect it to. It's not just about suddenly having quiet houses or teens that are detaching from you as they prepare for independence. It's not just the redundant feeling that washes over us when we can't know all their fears and what they are doing. 

It brings a lot of painful, unnecessary regret and guilt; two of the most useless and destructive emotions.

Did I use the brief time of their childhood well? Did I read to them enough? Why wasn't I more patient when they were so excited about the moon? Did I work too much? Did I not work enough? Did I provide enough? Did I spoil them? 

Can I do it again? I've learnt so much... I want to do it more and better and calmer and happier...

let me tell you, I have yet to meet a parent (and I have met thousands) who wasn't giving their child the absolute best they could with what they had - physically and emotionally. Every decision was based on unconditional love and wanting the best for their child. No matter what the outcome, that is all children need to be okay... they need to, and will eventually know, that you did your best. 

So be kind to yourself... enjoy the shared moments of now and look forward to when they start their own futures knowing you gave everything you could and that you will be part of their next chapter.

All we can ever do, is what we can do with what we have in the moment... and that is enough.