You cant make me... or them for that matter

One month of what I have come to believe are fundamental beliefs required to raise a demand avoidant child with their emotional wellbeing and sense of self intact.

We can not MAKE children do anything...

Automatic authority, respect and compliance are all an illusion.

There are only 3 reasons children do what they are told; they want to, they want to please the person asking, they are too scared not to!

That’s it! Through a fortunate quirk of nature, children are born wanting the love and approval of our caregivers. For most children this need for approval is greater than the need for autonomy; making it easy for them to put aside their own wishes and comply.

For others, their need for autonomy and independence is greater than the need for approval from parents, peers and society in general … these are the wild children.

It gets even more complicated when we realise that even though these children are compulsively driven to seek autonomy, they do actually still want the love, acceptance and approval from those around them … they often wish they could just comply and ‘not cause a fuss’ but their brain just won’t allow the compliance as it perceives it as a threat to it’s very existence.